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30 March 2011

Zombie Strippers (2008)

Zombie Strippers is every bit as bad as it sounds. No, actually, it might be worse! And the thing that gets me is that I knew that this film was going to be a pile of crap and I still watched it! Oh... what a numptie! Actually, I only half-watched it... I think it was mainly the top half.

So there's this virus and it was designed to re-animate soldiers and turn them into über-soldiers. But how about if this same virus was somehow to escape from the lab and infect a strip club? Well, wouldn't you end up with some sort of undead über-strippers? Yeah! That's what happens! I know! Amazing!

But it's not amazing.

This film is meant to be a cheesy, camp piece of nonsense and it aces this without really trying too hard. The acting is hopeless. You'd think that zombie pole-dancing strippers would be able to rescue the show, but sadly not. What is it with pole-dancing anyway? Can't say that it does much for me... but then, I've never tried it...

Steady on!

Being a film about strippers you'd expect a little bit of an eyeful. And this film doesn't disappoint with quite a lot of plastic on show... if you get my drift. I'll say no more about it. If boney-bummed Barbies are your thing, then you might get more out of this flick than I did.

I can't think of any good bits to tell you about. There're loads of bad bits though! Perhaps the worst was the fight between rival zombie strippers. How do you think zombie strippers would fight? Would you believe me if I told you that one of the attack moves involves firing ping pong balls from an interesting orifice? Don't believe me? Well how about firing pool balls from the afore-mentioned orifice? It's all true I tell you!

This film is dire. I really wouldn't recommend that you waste any effort watching it. On the Triple-B I award Zombie Strippers a limp 1. If anyone recommends this film to you then you should be very, very suspicious. Whatever you do, don't let them buy you a drink...

1 comment:

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