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3 February 2012

Zombies: Wicked Little Things (2006)

The first film that I ever took my wife to see - before we were married - was an afternoon screening of Arachnophobia. Yeah... I know! Sometimes I'm such a romantic fool...

The Ukes watch Arachnophobia

It seemed like a great idea at the time. I can't really remember much about the film itself, but I do remember that we sat up at the front and that there was this scary bit that made me jump out of my skin. I think that I might have actually screamed. Unfortunately for me, I was the only one to jump.

And at the end, as we stood to leave, I was horrified to discover that one of my legs had fallen asleep. The first inkling I had that something was wrong was as I collapsed in the isle. Try as I might, I couldn't get back up; I had to drag myself with my arms to a nearby chair to recover.

"Let me show you to your seat sir"
Zombies: Wicked Little Things, Momentum 2006

My wife left me behind that night and later remarked that she had never been so embarrassed in her life. I'm not allowed to choose the films any more. :-)

I learnt a couple of valuable lessons that afternoon: 1. Always check your legs before vacating the cinema; And 2. my wife does not like horror films one little bit.

Wicked Little Things is a horror film.

I watched it alone.

Here's a quick roundup of what it's about...

The Tunny Family do a double-take
Zombies: Wicked Little Things, Momentum 2006

It's rural America, somewhere up in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Recently widowed Karen Tunny (played by Lori Heuring) arrives with her two young daughters to reclaim her inheritance: the mysterious ramshackle Tunny house. But not all is as it should be.

A mining accident many years yearlier killed all of the children in the area and somehow - for reasons that I can't explain - their cold undead bodies are still roaming the hills. It gets worse... These dead children are terrorizing the mountain, killing all mad enough to venture out into the forest at night!

Running, spade-carrying zombies!?!
Zombies: Wicked Little Things, Momentum 2006

If the title of the DVD is to believed, they're zombies, but I'm not so sure. These grubby little urchins are a little too calculating for my liking. Do zombies think? No, of course not...

Wicked Little Things isn't a Zombie film, it's a Horror film plain and simple. Pretty much every shot is in shadow and every dark corner hides a secret. It's all very predictable and by the numbers. That doesn't make it bad... but it doesn't make it good either.

Is that car of Eastern European manufacture?
Zombies: Wicked Little Things, Momentum 2006

The youngest daughter Emma (Chloe Moretz) can 'talk' to the dead and somehow befriends one of the dead gang. The eldest daughter Sarah (Scout Taylor-Compton) is a teenager with attitude. Like all stereotypical horror-film teenagers, it isn't long before she's hanging out with local miscreants and getting up to no good. In the mountains, 'no good' involves driving up to remote spots in the forest and talking a lot.

And then everyone starts dying.

Something's not quite right...
Zombies: Wicked Little Things, Momentum 2006

I think that's all you need to know.

This film is confused: It's Pennsylvania, but it's filmed in Bulgaria; It's zombies, but they're more like evil spirits. I felt like this was film-making for the sake of film-making; There isn't anything new or exciting about the story or the way that it's been told. And if I'm being brutally honest: whilst I liked a lot of the wooded scenery shots, the zombie special effects were quite terrible.

On the Triple-B we'd better sleep 3-to-a-bed... just in case the rats are hungry. Well... that's my excuse...


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