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9 March 2012

Big Tits Zombie (2010)

I hinted that I owned this DVD sometime back and to be truthful although I threatened to watch it, I just couldn't bring myself to actually do it. That was until last night!

Straight down the middle...
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

When I opened the DVD, out plopped two pairs of 3D glasses. I wasn't expecting that! The DVD contains both a 2D and 3D version of the film. Oh wow! I set out to watch the 3D version but having sat through all the 2D trailers with my 3D glasses on, by the time the film had actually started I'd already got bored of the whole idea. So I started over again with the 2D version. I’m sure there’s a lesson there somewhere...

Let me start by saying that this film wasn’t at all what I was expecting. What was I expecting? I’m not really sure...

Big Tits Zombie tells the story of a group of strippers working in the ailing Ikagawa Strip Club somewhere in Toyko. Business is slow. One day, bored and tetchy, they discover a secret door leading down into the basement. They can’t resist exploring. Oh dear! They discover a Necronomicon-type Book of the Dead and it’s only a matter of time before sacred words have been uttered and the dead are rising. I think that you can guess where this is heading can’t you? And you’d be right!

The lovely ladies of Ikagawa Strip Club
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

I hope I’m not misrepresenting anyone here, but it seems that the cast have been assembled from various corners of the Japanese porn industry. I’m afraid that I’m not as up-to-speed on my Japanese porn stars as perhaps I should be. Here are the names; You may recognise them better than me: Sora Aoi as Lena Jodo; Risa Kasumi as Ginko; Mari Sakurai as Maria; Tamayo as Nene; and Io Aikawa as Darna. None of them do a bad job. :-)

If you hadn’t already realised, this film is an oddball comedy. As such there are certain allowances you’re going to need to feel comfortable making along the way if you’re going to enjoy it. For a start, you mustn’t get too uptight if the story makes little sense. Likewise you need to be able to revel in the quirkiness and not be too critical of the camera-work.

"Hey look. Mt Fuji is emitting smoke."
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

Oh yeah, and there’s the small point of the special effects...

It’s fair to say that the special effects are cheap. There’s a heap of CGI; and it’s obvious CGI. But actually, I really didn’t have a problem with it. There was so much of it that actually for me it became part of the style of the film. I found myself wanting more. It may seem strange, but I felt that the bits where they pushed the boundaries of believability that little bit further were some of the better scenes. The film has its crazy moments, but actually, I wanted it to be a whole lot more crazy than it was. More crazy...  more often. Is that sounding weird?

Slice and dice...
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

On the whole the overuse of the CGI made me feel at times like I was watching a comic. And that’s no bad thing when you realise that this film is based upon a manga by Rei Mikamoto called “Konyu Dragon: Onsen Zombies Vs Strippers 5”, or literally: "Big Tits Dragon: Hot Spring Zombie Vs Stripper 5". Yeah!

I’m not sure about the Dragon bit, but it’s definitely got strippers and zombies. You will remember that I’ve encountered this combination before with the terrible Zombie Strippers! Oh dear - that really was an ordeal! Big Tits Zombie is better...

I have to mention the zombies. The zombie special effects are terrible to the point of being brilliant. The same zombies appear in pretty much every zombie scene. You’ll be down in the basement watching a zombie attacking someone and then the camera will cut to outside the house to see the same zombie chasing someone else. It’s amusing, but I don’t think it really detracts from the overall film. Continuity as a whole is fairly slap-dash. I picked up on a fight scene where one of our heroines is chopping up zombies. One second she’s got her trademark cowboy boots on, the next they’ve morphed into heel-less boots, and the next the cowboy boots are back. If you’re going to get upset by this sort of error then you’re watching the wrong film!

They're zombies, but not as you know them...
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

Sticking with the zombies; It seems as though there was a conscious decision to make them more puppet-like than realistic. Perhaps the cost was what tipped it? Who knows. There’s one zombie in particular that sticks in my mind. It looks like an actor with a paper mache head created by some kids. And it works! Okay, it’s not your typical zombie look, but who says all zombies have to look the same anyway? This is a comedy after all...

Being Japanese I was expecting a little bit of light-hearted perviness. The title itself seems to hint that there might be a few breast shots. And indeed there are! But it’s all in the name of Art! Yeah right! Actually, it was a whole lot more restrained than I was expecting, especially when you consider the actresses’ day jobs. My favourite bit was an extended shot where one of our heroines loses her top and gets her ‘big tits’ sprayed in blood. Would you believe it if I told you that the other heroine then undergoes the same ordeal? I caught myself shaking my head with a cheeky smile on my face. What on Earth was Takao Nakano thinking?

It's all starts getting a bit weird...
Big Tits Zombie, Terracotta 2010

Just before I round up, it’s probably only right that I call out a couple of the more bizarre bits. Imagine a zombie shooting flames out from between her legs? Yeah, that’s what I thought! And what about a zombie who comes apart and then floats around a bit before attacking her victim with probing intestines? Yeah, that’s what I thought too! Fantastic!

So how am I going to pull this all together?

I’ve had quite a bit to say, but actually I didn’t think that this was a great film. It managed to surprise me and was better than I was expecting but somehow it just didn’t unlock and realise its full potential. The bits that worked for me were the more outlandish parts. There just weren’t enough of them. Having said all that: It’s not a complete disaster.

On the Triple-B I’m going to hire 5 strippers for a new zombie movie I’m making. If only I could come up with a catchy name...

Borrow!

 






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