I've never actually ever played a Kazoo before...
Look what I bought on ebay - a second-hand kazoo. It works too! Everyone except for Mrs Uke seems happy with my new purchase.
Look at this! I found the patent for the submarine style kazoo that I have in Google Patent search (No 700986). This flavour of kazoo dates all the way back to 1902! G D Smith came up with this novel design following frustration with earlier models which he claimed were "practically valueless in the hands of an unskilled operator". I think he might be talking about me there. Ha ha.
Having realised that the diaphragm is the heart of the kazoo, I started wondering where you get them from. I think I only found one place in America selling them. What interested me was the above video where Doc Kazoo shows us how to make our own diaphragm!
I watched in awe. This had all the hallmarks of turning into a little project for me!
When I got to the end I resolve to make myself a kazoo diaphragm... whether I needed one or not!
Here you can see that I've dismantled my kazoo. The top unscrews and out pops the diaphragm. It's slightly larger than a new 5 pence piece.
Here are all six of me giving a quick demo on my home-made kazoo diaphragm. You will notice that I'm also experimenting with some French throat-rolling at the same time ;-) There really is no stopping me! Ha ha.
I'll need to have a think how I incorporate my new skill into a proper song.
If you want to see how the pros play kazoo then I'd recommend checking out the lovely Suzie and Shoe in the above video with their heart-wrenching version of the classic Somewhere Over the Rainbow. It really did bring a tear to my eye. Be sure to keep listening til the 1:13 mark. I guarantee that you won't regret it. ;-)